yogi luv

the real deal on teaching

so i have been teaching yoga for about the past three months and i am enjoying it thus far. but as i knew from teaching zumba, teaching your fav fitness craze can really can change the way you practice it yourself. right now i am teaching zumba one night, yoga one night, and yoga over lunch. first of all, since i am still working a fairly demanding full time job, i have to find the right balance of teaching for myself. of course, i need to make sure that i have time to dedicate to my job but i also need to find time to dedicate to my classes. a one hour class can quickly become a three hour time commitment. how you ask? well the hour you teach plus the hour you prep plus the hour commute time to get there early. i don't want to complain about teaching because this has always been a goal of mine and i am finally there! just sharing how my experience with teaching has been. i want to be sure to give fully to my students when i am there so not overextending myself has a huge bearing on that. i also need to find time to practice myself. yoga calms me and well i think, makes me a better person overall. i definitely hadn't made enough time for my personal practice the past couple of months and realized that quickly when i went to my favorite class on friday afternoon. i was in my groove and it felt good. i tried all sorts of fun poses to challenge myself and it also helps my teaching! i tried to let myself get out of the teaching mentality but it's nearly impossible. it was an amazing class and i am going to try to get there every week. i was able to make it to a stand up paddle board class this weekend too!

all in all teaching has been wonderful. i hope i am bringing to my students what i have received from my teachers along the way. that's karma baby. it took some juggling at first but i think i found the right balance, to get what i need to get done, to teach a few classes, and to take care of myself.

namaste

Melissa

just another SoCal sunset...

i guess life has returned to business as usual in the SD... living by the sun cycle and long walks on the beach. i got back to Cali after the wedding that i was in and felt a little off as my plan landed. i think it was due to missing two people at the same time in the same way but different. being back with all my girlfriends who watched me fall in love with matt and attended our wedding made me miss him by my side. the bride was thoughtful enough to suggest donations to the ABTA  as well as put Matt's picture on a table of loved ones lost at the reception. it was so thoughtful but i avoided that table like that black plaque fearing that i would break into tears upon a single glance. i received many comments of how my friends missed Matt and wished he could be there. being so far removed from my old life and old friends it's easy to let the feeling of lose melt away. on the other hand, i missed my new special someone. he couldn't attend due to the long trip and work obligations. i also wished he could be by my side to meet all my old friends. i also received many comments on how happy i looked and thought it had something to do with him. so it was a full weekend of emotions and of course being so happy for my friend and hoping nothing but a long and loving marriage filled with all good things.

after a few days of wonkiness, i settled back into my SoCal life. i was eager to spend the weekend doing whatever i wanted and enjoying the beautiful beach town where i reside. on Saturday my special someone suggested an afternoon of biking around Coronado (swoon). if you aren't familiar with Coronado, its a beautiful island a short bridge drive across from SD and is filled with everything that you think a vacation town would include. we biked around, enjoyed the sites, and of course dined al fresco with a cocktail or two. sunday, i called the shots and dragged him to Temecula where i belong to a wine club. we enjoyed a tasting outside the vineyards followed by another lunch al fresco. we headed back to the city proper and i closed out the weekend with some chores and some freshly obtained wine with a neighbor.

not to continue on with my brag fest but sometimes i really think i have to pinch myself to know that this life i am living is for real! i mean i go biking around one of americas most visited tourist destinations for fun in the place where i live. sunset walks on the beach are the regular. and i have met someone that likes to enjoy all of these things with me. feeling like a lucky lady these days.

just another sunset... 

biking around Coronado with my Special Someone... Kyle 

me and the beautiful bride 

having a couple of laughs with old friends 

lila is pretty spoiled by daily sunsets too

PS. If I didn't have enough already... I picked up another hobby... photography. Just got my first DSLR and these pics are courtesy of! Still a lot to learn but having fun with it so far! 

namaste

Melissa

The Widow’s Book Corner: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I feel like people are waiting for this review from me. That somehow since I somewhat lived this, that my review matters more.  Alas I know it really doesn’t but here is my two cents on this extremely popular book soon to be movie on a somewhat familiar topic to me.

First of all, I surprised myself by even reading this book. After Matt’s death I gobbled up every depressing widow/cancer book I could find. Being two years out, I have simmered down on them and occasionally pick them up at this point mostly because it's an author I know or I have heard some hype about it. Sometimes they bring me so back into it, that I just can’t bear it. I surprised myself even more by reading the book on a plane after a wedding weekend of a dear friend. But I am no stranger to the public silent cry so I finished the book crying as I landed over the snowy Rocky Mountains.

The book is about a sixteen year old girl, Hazel, who has an incurable lung cancer. She meets a dynamic young man at her support group who has also battled cancer but his has gone into remission and the two of them fall in love. Hazel is obsessed with a book about a girl who also had cancer and a lot of the story centers around her love of this book, eventually the boys love of this book, and then a mission to find answers to some of the open ended questions at the end of the book. This is the general premise of the book and I’ll leave it ther  as I don’t want to ruin it for anyone.

I really liked this book and thought it was extremely well written with a unique perspective on a difficult circumstance. The book sucked me in initially because Hazel entices you iwith her non-self pitying cancer humor. Cancer humor is typically only shared by those who have been deeply affected by cancer. Such as when people ask me, oh why aren’t you married? This question has been detested by woman especially those past the age of thirty but now, I can give this detested question asker the ultimate foot in the mouth answer. Per cancer humor rules, I can take a little satisfaction in that minute of awkwardness. But really, cancer humor can be a little jolting to those that haven’t dealt with it so intimately so I am not sure how others take it.

I did find some parts of the story a little unbelievable. (Spoiler Alert) I find it hard to believe that Augustus, Hazel's love, would pick up another girl at a support group after losing his prior girlfriend to cancer. I mean, I know you can’t help who ya fall in love with but I would head for the hills if someone told me they had another terminal type of cancer on a first date. This isn’t too say that I wouldn’t support someone going through it once we had fallen madly in love... but I am just being honest and I think it would be hard to involve yourself with someone who had cancer again especially at the age of 16.  But I am not a teenage boy that has also had cancer...perhaps finding non-cancer girlfriends is difficult? The other thing I had difficulty with was the fact that the teenagers wrote their own eulogies and picked out their own funeral attire. Myself and Matt refused to admit that Matt was dying and never even discussed what he wanted for his funeral or anything of the sort. But maybe that’s just us? 

As a friend told me, I would both laugh and cry during this book and that I did. I plan to look up how the author had such an intimate knowledge of the evils of cancer and assume he lost a close family member. The movie however, I don’t think I can do it. Maybe if I need a good cry once it comes out on video (whoa this dates me... I meant On Demand) because some parts did hit too close to the heart and while getting some tears out helps from time to time, sobbing in the theatre doesn't sound all that appealing. 

Namaste,

Melissa 

it's gonna be may

yep, its been a month. a month since i posted and well as you can guess a lot has happened. april was full of fun, laughs, love, and well to be honest a little bit of stress. i traveled to Austin, TX  to celebrate a bachlorette and also got to catch up with my cousins that i never get to see anymore. Austin proved to be just as weird and awesome as promised. getting together with college girlfriends after the age of 30 trying to rehash the good old days also proved to be just as awful (in a good way of course). the week following i was so lucky to have my two aunts and nan visit. it was quick turnaround time but i straightened up the place quickly, stocked the fridge, and played hostess with the mostess with ease. i was happy that nan got to see the place. for some reason she always thinks i live in some dirty hovel and to her ocean loving delight, she enjoyed numerous walks to the beach. easter brought a celebration with friends poolside. this week i am back home visiting with family and friends before heading up north to Toledo to stand up in the above mentioned bachlorette's wedding. lots going on, lots to celebrate, and lots to be thankful for.

i guess it's time for me to come clean with some other developments in life... i met a special someone.  i jumped back into the dating game around the time i moved back to san diego. i'm sorry i didn't share but really the only thing more awkward than getting back into the dating game at 30 after your husband passes away is blogging about it. but it's part of my story and i have to share that i am so so happy and i want others to know that it's possible for them. and to know that it's a lot easier to write about someone who can no longer read what you've written (i know your reading this). i'm sure i'll share more as time goes on but for now i want the other widows to know that it's possible to survive a horrible tragedy at a young age, to pick up and move across the country to build a new life, and to find someone that makes you happy again.

pedal pub for the bachlorette... so much fun! 

Easter celebration sunset

namaste

Melissa