whacked out widow dreams

I could tell you about how getting back to a fulfilling full time job has taken some adjustment or that I have been too busy enjoying time with recent guests that i haven't had time write but I won't. I will tell you about whacked out widow dreams...

Often times I wake up especially lonely or sad after a shaken night's rest and I know that something probably happened in my dreams but I just don't remember what. Or sometimes I remember the dreams vividly and the emotions that went along with it like this morning...

I was seated at a long lunch table and there was a wide aisle between my table the boy's lunch table across the way not too unlike the high school cafeteria I once sat in. I was seated with girls who included Matt's sisters but not his real sisters. Sisters that I had never met or were just unfamiliar to me. Matt was across the aisle with a table full of blurred faces. He was looking especially handsome with some sort of sweater on within his uniform code. I remember talking with the girls as normal high school girls do at the lunch table about why Matt wasn't talking to me but don't recall the specifics only recalling the emotion of an adolescent girl dissecting boy problems. Finally he got up and walked out of the cafeteria directly past my lunch table without acknowledging my presence. I was devastated as only a high school cheerleader could be. And then someone reminded me that he couldn't answer me because he had died. I don't remember a direct person telling me this more like a voice from around the cafeteria but I was satisfied with the answer and realized that he truly couldn't talk to me... 

This morning I woke up oddly at peace after remembering the heavy emotions of the night's dreams...

namaste

melissa