Monday, November 17, 2014

worst widow blogger ever but who cares... i'm engaged!

so i officially take the cake for worst widow blogger ever... if you can even call me a widow anymore! it's taken me so long to share this amazing news with you all! or maybe i am the best blogger ever because i was busy enjoying life! but back to the good stuff... yep you read right... i am engaged to my special someone!

i had planned a birthday trip for kyle a month after his actual birthday in a VW camper van. we had both dreamed of traveling the road via van and were eagerly looking forward to our trip for quite some time. the week before i was busy finalizing our travel plans and gathering last minute car camping supplies. i was a little surprised by kyle not taking part in planning and even accused him of not wanting to go! i kept myself busy by putting together the ultimate road trip playlist hoping nothing was amiss.

we headed up to orange county to pick up our van and headed up the the malibu coast and were at our beachside campsite set up and ready to go by about mid-afternoon. we headed for a walk with lila on the somewhat lonely beach shortly after. we walked and talked for a bit before i crept ahead of kyle when used my pace to his advantage and got down on one knee. i simply couldn't believe it before remembering i needed to say yes and taking a long look at the beautiful ring he wanted to put on my finger. we celebrated with more walking on the beach watching li chase the birds followed by dinner and drinks by the campfire.

i am so happy and can't wait to marry kyle. but since this is a widow blog, i of course have to mention the craziness of this situation. the constant feeling that i wouldn't be here in this place with this man without losing matt. it helps that kyle is such an understanding man and i think appreciates this fact. we talk about matt openly and he is a part of our life. even though i am moving forward i will never forget, its just become a part of me, this duality of my situation.

i look forward to sharing my road to the aisle as a widow. it's already proven to be interesting and i fell like an old pro at wedding planning now. i still get stressed about it but sometimes reality snaps me back in to place reminding me that it isn't that big of a deal. it just seems like there should be a new word for an engaged widow...

i said yes!

li checking out what all the commotion is about

my little family

overseeing the malibu beaches

happiness is hanging at the beach in the morn

second campsite in ojai

van in Santa Barbara

campsite in jalama beach

li making herself at home

a man and his van

on top of the world!

more running the beach

flying free

a little reflection time

happiness is feet next to the fire on the beach happily engaged