I was in dire need of a yoga class tonight. With my new Zumba certification and general craziness, I have been a Zumbain fool lately. Not a lot of time left for yoga. I woke up early this morn to practice some new routines and was looking forward to rewarding myself with a hot yoga class tonight.
Earlier this week I joined one of my fave friends for a pilates class on the Reformer. I have never been on the Reformer so it was a new experience to say the least. First of all there is a lot of equipment, I felt so clumsy trying to angle myself on those moving parts and pieces! It's a challenging workout though, works a lot of the same muscles as in yoga but way more concentrated. Basically you are using your body as your weight and let's be honest, normally I wouldn't be selecting this size of weight! We worked a lot of different muscle groups but the triceps were hit hard. Also, I have been practicing my new Zumba Toning routine which focuses on... you guessed it... triceps! Needless to say I was hurting in class tonight.
I was doing okay to start off with but when the teacher guided us into humble warrior, I knew I was in trouble. It basically felt like I had pulled something in my tricep. As your instructor states, it's your practice, do what feels right, listen to your body. I had to listen, I was in pain. I had to ease up. I simply couldn't work through this, I was going to really hurt myself. I quickly tried to come up with a modification but spent a lot of time getting in and out of poses trying to find a comfortable spot.
I hated fumbling around in my advanced class! I looked like I didn't know what I was doing. And I couldn't try all the poses I like to work on. Normally I can bind myself in Extended Side Angle, tonight I just couldn't. So I did what I could and took Child's Pose when I needed.
When grieving, sometimes you just can't. It's too painful, you simply don;t have the strength, stamina, energy, or will to power through. And if you try it, you end up injuring yourself whether it be physical or mental. It's okay, just do what feels right. Who cares what the half naked pretzel thinks next to you, she has no idea how bad your tricep hurts! If only I could live this lesson truly on daily basis on my grief journey.
And on another note... it simply amazes me how much my emotions swing from one moment to the next. I go from a sunny morning stroll thanking the good Lord for a beautiful day, to being hit with the cranky stick, to crying on the couch, to enjoying a glass of wine having a chuckle over the housewives. And this is just a brief overview of the emotional roller coaster. It's crazy and I can't believe how exhausting each and every day is. That is all.