Transitioning to Plan B

I have tried to write this post many times in the past couple of weeks but the creative juices just haven't been flowing probably due to sheer exhaustion. As I sat down to edit my most recent version moments ago I realized what was happening... I don't think I have wrapped my brain around what has happened to me in the past couple of weeks. 

To shortly recap this; I quit my job, I packed up all my stuff, I watched my stuff be shipped off to storage not to be seen again until Cali in three months, I said goodbye to all my friends and the life I knew in Chicago, I watched renters move into our condo, I drove back to my temporary home in Ohio, and I officially became a nomad. Currently I am running around like a mad woman to get everything ready for a trip out of the country for two months. It sounds like it's all fun and very yogi of me to take off on this trip but the Accountant in me is steering this ship and there is still a lot to cross off the list. 

Moving was just awful. Moving in any situation sucks but this was double suck. I had already gone through a lot of Matt's belongings but I had to go through everything and determine on my own what to keep and what to bring with me across the country. I have way too much stuff and I now know exactly how much stuff I have in cubic feet. 

I said goodbye to my Zumba classes and it was very emotional. I learned exactly how much teaching has brought to my life. The funny thing about teaching is that you set out to teach someone else something and then they end up teaching you something. Amazing. I miss all of my students and can't begin to thank them for what they helped me through.

I spent a lot of quality time with most of my favorites in Chicago before taking off although sadly there were a few I wasn't able to catch up with before I left. As I sat with my best girl friends at a farewell dinner, it all felt surreal. How would it be when I couldn't call them up for a quick dinner down the street? Then I remembered that I would keep in touch with all those that I love and this wasn't goodbye. The great thing about love is the capacity to love infinitely There will always be a place in my heart for Chicago and all my friends there but there is also room to move on and find love for a new place and new friends. The more the merrier! 

The past couple weeks have seemed liked a blur much like this whole year and yes in three days it will be eleven months. Being here in Ohio so removed from our life and our home I can't help but feel in a completely different place. I am not quite sure how I feel about this yet. In three days I also take off for my trip. I can't wait for this trip to start, I've just got to get there first. 

Lila riding in the only remaining space in the car with all our stuff that didn't get shipped off

Namaste,

Melissa  

New Year New Life Not Yet

It's certainly a new year but do I have a new life? Not exactly. I was looking forward to the New Year as if when the ball dropped, all would be forgotten from 2012 and I would be on to a wonderful 2013. While we almost to the end of the first month of 2013 and I am still hopeful, everything didn't turn around with the drop of the ball as I had hoped. I am more than ready to start on this new adventure of mine (you know Plan B) but it wasn't as simple as all that. 

First and foremost, there was a huge (well not so huge... this is Chicago after all) piece of property weighing on my heart. I put our place on the market a couple of weeks before the holidays which as you can guess wasn't the best time. There wasn't a lot of activity and I quickly became very worried. After the new year, I tried new strategies of renting the place and the showings really picked up. To say I was stressed about this was an understatement. Trying to rent out the place quickly consumed all of my time as I found myself organizing, cleaning, and beautifying the condo on a daily basis. I believe that when you put your place on the market, you aren't just showing your unit... you are selling a life. Maybe I haven't been in the real estate market very long and I know you aren't really supposed to do this but how can you not walk through a potential property and judge the lives of the people living there currently? I remember when I was going through this on the other side and would try to gather hints about the inhabitants lives while I guess more importantly evaluated the property. As a seller or landlord you want people to walk through and think I want this life! As there were certainly financial ramifications tied to me renting out the condo, there was also a huge amount of emotional currency included in the monthly rent. I simply couldn't believe that people weren't walking through this place and jumping up and down saying "I want this, I want this life" because frankly I still want this life. I want the promise that it held for me only about four years ago. 

I am happy to report that I successfully rented out the place and I did it on my own so I don't have to pay the finder's fee. Both of my guys; Matt and Pappy would be so proud of me. I had always talked about one day renting out this place and Matt would tease me about it. I believed it would be under much different circumstances which included us moving most likely to WI when we had kids but hey I accomplished this goal nonetheless. 

After renting out my place, going to my last day of work, and packing... I realize this is really happening. I gave myself permission to be a crying mess as I realize that the next weeks is going to be full of lots of excitement and of course sadness. I know that I just need to feel this all out. I love this home very much but I think that moving to new surroundings will only do me well. I simply can't believe that I was married in this home and also lost my husband in this home. Bittersweet is really the only way to describe this move. 

Our Condo taken by the Wedding Photographer on July 11, 2009

Namaste,

Melissa