Monday, July 9, 2012

Starting the journey... goes. I am starting a blog. I can't believe I am doing this myself as I have made fun of bloggers in the past but the past few months, some blogs that I have read have been some real life savers. And I guess I feel like I have got something to share and if it helps just one person through this awful time then I am happy to help!

I started reading blogs the past few months of other widows. I found myself rigorously searching for the Internet to find someone with the same story, the same emotions, the same sadness. For those of you that are just meeting me, my husband, Matt, passed away, four months ago today, from brain cancer. I am sure from that sole statement alone, you know there is a ton of sadness, grief, stress, anxiety, loneliness, etc, etc. I will get into our story at another time. For now I would just like to share the purpose of this blog.

Back to all those crazy feelings (the sadness, grief, stress, etc., etc.), somehow I made it through all of these intense situations and feelings still being able to smile each day. True there have been some really sad moments and there still are everyday but in general I have been able to move through all this relatively calm and still able to tell a funny joke. My counselor, whose jaw pretty much dropped when I told her the story of my life, told me in these exact words, "It's amazing you haven't lost it and had a complete meltdown." It got me thinking... how haven't I? I mean really?

So I then started thinking about my yoga practice. I have been doing yoga for about the past eight years. In March 2010, I attended my first hot yoga class with my aunt at a studio down the street and then it became a daily practice. Yoga is supposed to not only be a physical activity but help you to get through the tough times and maintain tranquility. In the West, we are more familiar with the asanas (postures) but this is only one limb or part of the practice. When you go to a class the Instructor will tell you that this pose or that pose is supposed to help with physical ailments or supposed to open your heart. In those moments, I have asked myself, does it really, how???

So with this blog, I am going to explore how yoga has helped me on this journey. How it helps me to redefine my life as I enter my 30's. This will also allow me to get deeper into my yoga practice by looking into the yogic philosophy. And of course, hopefully this helps me with my grief journey. I have a lot of ideas for this blog including book reviews on the Grief/Widow books that I have read. I typically don't like to express all my feelings publicly about losing Matt, so we will see how personal I get with all that (I have a personal journal for that of course!) but only time will tell.

So here goes. I am really looking forward to this! For now, I need to figure out how to make this blog look cute before I make it public!



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