Tuesday, April 9, 2013

End of the Line

It's hard to believe but it's the end of my Bali adventure. My two month journey has come to an end. It has been; amazing, life changing, breathtaking, challenging, scary, fun, and many many more emotions I am sure I am forgetting to list. 

Today is also the thirteenth month sadaversary of Matt's death. Ironically I began this trip on February 9th and ended it on April 9th. Although the date of the 9th typically makes me cringe, it didn't even register with me as I was planning this trip. Perhaps it was the excitement or perhaps it was just meant to be. 

As I pack my bags and look back on the past year, I have to question how am I doing? My life has changed so much in just one year. I am very proud of myself and all that I have accomplished. It's hard to put a label on myself since my feelings, emotions, thoughts change so much from moment to moment... This too shall pass ... sorry to whoever originally said this quote, I can't find your name online and I have a flight to catch! One thing that has been reconfirmed every step of this journey is that moving to San Diego is the best decision for me at this time and I am truly following what has spoken to me. I am very much looking forward to moving and another new adventure. 

I have to thank everyone that has helped me to get to where I am today. All of my friends and family have been so supportive of this trip. I have to especially thank Matt for this opportunity. Without him and this chain of events I wouldn't have taken this trip. Sometimes this is hard to comprehend but I also know I am were I am supposed to be. I am also so greateful for those that I met at my yoga teacher training. They made this trip that much better and I now have friends across the world (and another friend from Ohio as randomly one of my classmates is also from Ohio)! Everyday I started my meditation thanking all those that helped me to get me here.

Today I woke up and went to my last yoga class in Bali. It was a Bikram class so it was difficult as always but peaceful at the time same time. I drank one last green smoothie although I vow to drink these when I home! Then I headed to the beach for a lunch by the ocean and I had one last thing I wanted to do. I  had brought some of Matt's ashes with me and was waiting for the right time and place to spread them. Nothing had spoken to me until I realized it was the end of the trip and my time left to do this was short. Spreading Matt's ashes in the Indian Ocean on April 9th seemed the right way to end this trip. 

I can't spend too much thinking what will happen when I get back, I am throwing it out to the universe... let's see what it comes back with. I leave you with the lyrics to End of the Line by Traveling Wilburys, one of Matt's favorite tunes. 

End of the Line by the Traveling Wilburys

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, doing the best you can
Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring
Waiting for someone to tell you everything
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring
Maybe a diamond ring

Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it's all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it's all right, everyday is judgement day

Maybe somewhere down the road aways
Youll think of me, and wonder where I am these days
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays
Purple haze

Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love
Well it's all right, everythingll work out fine
Well it's all right, were going to the end of the line

Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive
Im just glad to be here, happy to be alive
It don't matter if you're by my side
Im satisfied

Well it's all right, even if you're old and grey
Well it's all right, you still got something to say
Well it's all right, remember to live and let live
Well it's all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, even if the sun don't shine
Well it's all right, were going to the end of the line

As Always... 


  1. Wow, I really can't imagine what it's like to be doing a yoga retreat in Bali! Safe travels coming home - you're very brave and strong.


  2. thx deidre! i am home safe and sound! missing bali though!